Vague Dreams
by Mondler2017
Summary: Monica is extremely sad, that Chandler left. Will he ever come back? Or will she keep dreaming about him? Read more to find out.


The bed was soft and warm. Monica could feel his arm draped over her, more comforting that any blanket she had ever lay under. She was perfumed by his musky scent, as was her nightgown and her bed sheets and when next she slept alone his smell would make her feel safe and warm and happy.

Monica ran her hand over his back, the soft hairs tickling the tips of his fingers. She could feel the bones through his skin, the vertebrae of his spine looking as though they tried to pierce through his flesh. His skin was rougher than she remembered. Before he was exiled his skin was smooth and almost womanly, but now it was as coarse as the stones that built the castle. His hair had grown so long now; a thick, sandy-brown, bushy mess. She clutched it in her hands and could feel the salt from the sea, scratching at her fingers. Long and lank and greasy, but he suited it. They way it framed his eyes, and his now thinned face, made her lust for him more than she remembered.

It was only his eyes that remained unchanged, coloured a blue that was colder than the winter sky, yet she found warmth when she looked deep into them. In his eyes, she saw her reflection. It was her who had changed. Not on the outside, but the inside. She had become jealous of anyone who had found love and bitter towards anyone who laughed.

As she looked upon herself, in his perfect blue eyes glistening with love for her, she knew this wasn't real. It must be a dream, she told herself, but one I do not wish to wake from. Monica wanted to stay with him forever. She couldn't look away, but more than that she didn't want to. She wanted those eyes to be the last thing she ever saw.

I love you, she wanted to scream. I love you more than you know. I need you and I love you. Please, come back to me. What use would screaming be, she asked herself. He is only a figment of my desire; a delusion of my dreams. He is not real and will not hear me, but I need him to hear me. "I love you", she blurted as she woke.

Alone in the vanishing mist of harmony, she begins to cry.

I'm still crying when I wake.

The powerful longing feeling of the dream stays with me, lingering, unshakeable, in the air.

I have the same dream. Every night, without fail.

It is several moments before it clears. My eyes are really open. I can really see.

He was there... It wasnt a dream.

No.. noo this cant be real.

"Is it really you...Chandler?"

I'm not sure Chandler ever said, "Yes," to anything, it was always a "maybe" with a cheeky grin. Yet he always came through... it was always a warm possibility, something loving, inviting. He was the kind of guy that wouldn't take an order but never needed to; whatever he was supposed to do, he did it. He told bad jokes and danced with moves humanity hasn't had the pleasure of seeing for some time - and in my embarrassment I'd never loved him more. He was the kind of guy to ask me to guess which hand the ring was in, hiding his nerves behind an angel's bluff.

"Ya... Mon, its me."

It was strange, being here again after so long. Despite how long I'd been away, I still remembered everything about the place; the blue hydrangeas planted in the front yard, the soft tinkling of the wind chimes that reminded me of summer afternoons. The blue paint had faded since I had last seen it, but I still recognized it. It looked like the color of the sky before a bad storm.

I walked up to the door, dragging my luggage behind me. I raised my hand to knock, but I stopped. I took a deep breath, and forced myself to hit the door.

It opened slowly, and when I noticed no one was there, I crept in, and thats when I found her.

She was nothing to look at, short with an asymmetrical face and a few spots, red rimmed eyes, and sobbing violently while her own hands were shaking. But to me she was nothing but beautiful. It made my heart ache to know that I caused her that pain.

She looked at me, unbelievably, pinching her arm to make sure that this wasnt a dream.

A long awkward silence hung in there, she was simply at loss for words.

He couldnt take it anymore he had to tell her what she meant to him.

"Monica, never think for a moment that returning home isn't the holy grail of my life, that being here with you isn't the one true thing I seek. But being in this place after everything that's happened is so hard. I want to be the person you recall, innocent and sweet, yet I struggle. I want to return that beautiful smile of yours with something to warm your soul instead of drain you. So, my love, let's live one day at a time and not worry so much about the things we can't control. If I'm distant, if I need space, if I can't echo your divine emotions please forgive me. I want to erase the negative effects of all this suffering and heal as if it never happened; I want to do that for us."

"Monica, I- I love you... I love you sooo much."

Was she hearing right? After all of this time?

"Please say something.." he begged her.

She wanted to yell at him for doing this her to her. She wanted to simply break down and forget this ever happened. But she couldnt because she loved him.

"Why?"

"That night..."

*FLASHBACK*

Chandler spoke with his head to the dusty ground, "One day you'll hate me." Monica stopped like she'd taken a bullet to the guts.

"Why would you say such a thing? I love you. I can't live without you." Chandler raised his eyes to meet hers, so she would know he wasn't messing.

"It's what happens to great love when the expectations are too high. We'll be fine for a while, then the monotony of working life and kids will set in. I won't bring you flowers anymore. I'll forget our anniversary. Your friends will have nicer homes and fancier vacations. I won't be exciting, I'll be boring. Boring because I'm so damn tired." Monicas face had lost what little colour it had had.

"Damn you, Chandler. That's nothing more than a lousy excuse not to try. Or maybe you just don't love me?!" Her eyes washed with the kind of tears that only come when people break in ways not easily repaired. But when she met his gaze his were just the same. He did love her. So what was all this nonsense about hate?

Monica had two options.

One of them was to yell at him, and hate him by moving on.

And the other one, was to forget all of this has ever happened.

 **Epilogue: 2 years later...**

In the centre of the park was a mirror, oval and standing seven feet tall. The surface was glossy and in the twilight it emitted an unearthly go. I moved toward it without walking or making any conscious decision to move. As I approached I could see that the surface rippled and the reflection was no reflection at all. I could not see myself or the trees around, instead there was just me staring back from a dark room, but I was in clothes I had never seen before and my eyes were wide and pleading. The image held out his hand, when I did not extend mine he drew closer, the pale hand came through the surface glistening with a ...

I awoke to soft sheets, and the morning light trickled in through the blinds. Shedding myself of the remaining glimpses of a dream, my eyes were still shut as I soaked in the warmth of my covers before letting my blue eyes see the suns rays.

He was there beside me, holding me in his arms, burying his nose into my hair.

His breath was sooo hot against my ear, and I could even hear his heartbeat.

 _He was here, he didnt leave._ We got married, the best day of our lives, and with our friends by our side, nothing can stop us.

"Perhaps some would find her mild manners bland, but to me they were like salve on my soul. In her presence I felt showered with love and in her eyes shone a gentleness that told me that,at last, I was home."

So shall it stay put, a smile eternally stained upon my lips. My joy, my love, my laughter, my cheer. All will reach the ears of those who have forgotten the warmth of such harmonies. I will share it all. I will play life's song, the swelling symphony that can mend any broken heart.

In the end, they both finally found their happiness. _Together.._

 _Guys dont ask me what is this, I really dont know._ _I'm planning on continuing my other stories, but since Finals started, I dont really have time._ _I will try to update soon, for now enjoy this scrap._


End file.
